New Year’s Resolutions ~ How to keep one.

In the last few years I have developed a renewed sense of self by making and keeping a few New Year’s resolutions. I found the key to being successful at this is to make the first resolution an expansion of who I am as a person of interest.

What that means is to add some skill or pursuit(new hobby) that I can focus on as a part of who I am. Last year I decided to pursue Artisan Bread baking as a new way to express myself and share the joy of it with others.

Undaunted by a few failures, I pressed on and mastered the craft to my satisfaction. My family and friends now look forward to the creations that come out of my oven at mealtimes. Italian, French, Danish, it mattered not. My focaccia bread is “to die for!” The best I have ever tasted.

I tried and conquered many a recipe without fear of failure. The key was to learn from my mistakes. I did, and am a much better person for it. Amazing what life lessons can be learned in the kitchen.

This year I am going to try my hand at sculpture. I think I may have to take a course at our community college to get me up to higher levels but the beginnings I can handle on my own. I’m sure my family and friends will find it quite amusing. Wish me luck. Photos coming soon.

I failed at my second resolution which was to walk at least three miles a day. Too many things kept getting in the way and I soon gave up the required daily aspect, eventually it became less frequent and finally dropped to once a week if at all. If you asked me today I can’t remember the last time. Sigh!

Taking a clue from my first resolution I realized I had been too narrowly focused on one possibility and needed to approach the resolution with a broader stroke of the brush. The whole point of the resolution was to improve my physical health. There are many ways to do that. Why focus on one? That’s like making the same type of bread, every day, day after day.

This year my resolution will be to do at least three things each day to improve my health. Take a vitamin. Eat a salad. Skip the dessert. The list is as broad as my proverbial brush stroke. By the end of the year I may even get back to the three miles a day thing. Who knows?

The challenge will be to log in all the possibilities and see how many I can come up with to keep the game interesting. I wonder if drinking a cold beer counts as a herbal remedy for mood adjustment? I’ll try to keep you posted as I go along the path to better health.

This year will also lend itself nicely to an expansion of my social life. My New Year’s resolution will involve reconnection with family and friends. That includes at least one sponsored social event at my home such as dinner and a movie, or Poker Night with the boys. Maybe even an afternoon spot of tea with my lady friends, wife included of course.

I may even start sending out birthday cards to everyone in the family, all 128 of them! Do they offer wholesale prices on stamps? You get the picture. Reconnect! Damn the cost, full speed ahead.

The message I have for all of you is that New Year’s resolutions must be at least a little creative or you will soon lose interest in keeping them. Happy New Year to all of you, and may your New Year’s resolutions be a reflection of who you want to be by the end of this next year.

 

 

Joy or Sorrow ~ The choice is yours to make

Unlike the mental scale we use to measure our current state of mind, where we can add and remove things to get ourselves back into balance, the great scale that measures our lifetime can only have things added to it. None of these important memories can be removed.

We carry these things, good and bad, with us for the rest of our lives. The two platforms on this balancing scale are labeled “joy” and “sorrow.” It is this scale, hidden in the deep recesses of our minds, which we use to measure all of our efforts to love and be loved, past and present.

As we examine this scale, we begin to better understand the tight bond between time and love. Piled high on each side of this scale are the moments in time when the clock stopped and we created a memory we will never forget.

At the center of this memory will be our decision to love them or reject them. In the end it becomes either a moment of joy, or one of great sorrow. It is no wonder that it is so difficult to keep our balance.

True Sorrow is the only way to heal a broken heart

True sorrow is the only way to heal a broken heart. Each time you grieve you are offered an opportunity to forgive and be forgiven, but only if all the hate that was causing your grief had been removed from your heart. You must forgive both them, and yourself too.

How strange is it that we must use some of the love we felt for that other person to repair the damage caused when it is torn asunder. If we look a little closer we soon discover that it is not a lack of love or a failure to love that is causing us so much pain. It is the hate.

Like salt on a wound our feelings of hate continue to rile us up and aggravate the very wounds we desperately wish would heal so we can get on with our lives.

True sorrow for the loss of what was once so beautiful, when combined with forgiveness that releases us from the terrible desires of hate, is the only way to restore the peace of mind we seek.  

Why did you buy them “that” gift?

The Christmas Season, that brief span of time between Thanksgiving and Christmas Day, is filled with a rush of emotions. With each person we select to buy a gift for comes one or more emotions we hope to express.

For some people it is a gesture of thanksgiving. For others it is a feeling of hope. Still others,love enduring, love beginning, sometimes even love lost with hope of restoring.

Each gift carries on its golden wings a message for the recipient. Make a friend, fill a need, sooth hurt feelings, or inspire them to self improvement, the list goes on.

Look at the gifts you have purchased. What message are you sending with them? If there is no message, you have wasted your time and money and need to put more thought into your gift giving. Imagine you went out in search of that one special gift to tell them how you feel.

For many a Christmas card and a brief phone call is all they need. If you want to buy someone a gift, focus on the message you hope to sent along and write it on the card you send with it. Along the way you will discover the true meaning of the Christmas Season. It is a renewal, a reawakening, an appreciation of the many sources of love we have in our lives.

For me, Jesus Christ is my greatest source. My gift to Him should always be to love my neighbor, and myself of course. His birth reminds us all of the gifts he continually showers on us everyday of our lives. All He asks is that we share His great love with those around us.

The Golden Rule ~ Broken Everyday

Everyone knows the Golden Rule, but have you ever wondered its source, where it came from, what wise man first penned the phrase and gave it to all of us as a gift? The answer may surprise you.

The natural inclination in searching for the source is to look to the ancient religions. Surely we will find a wise man there who scrawled it on a sheet of papyrus or carefully chiseled it into the face of a stone tablet. What we find surprises us.

Judaism ~ "What is hateful to you, do not to your fellow man. That is the entire Law; all the rest is commentary"

Hindu ~"This is the sum of duty: Do naught unto others which would cause you pain if done to you"

Buddhism ~ "Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful"

Islam ~ "No one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself"

Confucianism ~ "Surely it is the maxim of loving-kindness: Do not unto others what you would not have them do unto you"

There are more religions, each one reads like a warning of things you should not do. Then we look at the Christian version of the Golden Rule given to us By Jesus Christ. What do we discover? Here it is.

Christianity ~ "Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets". In modern times this has been rewritten to say, “Always do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Other religions used the Golden Rule to warn against bad behavior towards one another. The Christian version is a call to extend the kindnesses you find in your own heart to those around you, always, not just when you are inclined to.

It is the only version of the Golden Rule that promotes a positive interaction. It is the only version written by God. All the others were written by men who wish to appear god-like and keep the peace.

When you break the Christian version of this rule you do as much or more damage to yourself as a person as you do to them as an individual worthy of your kindness. Following this rule will lead to much happiness in your life. “Always do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

 

That one special relationship

    A very special relationship, one selected from many a true love relationship, is found only between the best of friends, where there are no irreconcilable differences that place limits on the trust they have for each other. The intimate, physical confirmation of this relationship is then limited to the one close friend who makes the commitment to fill all our needs, every day, for the rest of our lives.

All other true love relationships we have respect this line drawn in the sand. Yes! It is possible to have more than one true love relationship at one time, but, only one intimate one, because that single love relationship requires a 100 percent commitment.

Every one of these relationships is as unique and different as the two people who are an equal part of it. And yet, all true love relationships end up appearing to be the same: They all match our preconceived expectations of what a true love relationship should be. How is this possible?

The key appears not to be in what they have in common, but rather in what their differences are. But unlike friends who simply accept each other’s differences, these special love relationships rely on each other’s differences to help them live their lives to the fullest, to help them feel complete.

J.Siler

Love relationships were not meant to be accidental.

    A very special relationship, one selected from many a true love relationship, is found only between the best of friends, where there are no irreconcilable differences that place limits on the trust they have for each other. The intimate, physical confirmation of this relationship is then limited to the one close friend who makes the commitment to fill all our needs, every day, for the rest of our lives.

All other true love relationships we have respect this line drawn in the sand. Yes! It is possible to have more than one true love relationship at one time, but, only one intimate one, because that single love relationship requires a 100 percent commitment.

Every one of these relationships is as unique and different as the two people who are an equal part of it. And yet, all true love relationships end up appearing to be the same: They all match our preconceived expectations of what a true love relationship should be. How is this possible?

The key appears not to be in what they have in common, but rather in what their differences are. But unlike friends who simply accept each other’s differences, these special love relationships rely on each other’s differences to help them live their lives to the fullest, to help them feel complete.

Just as where the differences between men and women make it possible for the human species to survive extinction, each one contributing their strengths to the common good, so too, do couples in a strong love relationship rely heavily on each other’s mental, physical, and emotional differences to create the peace, and love, and happiness that seems to fill their daily lives.

It truly is the discovery of these unique differences and the merging of these two “halves” to make one “whole” couple that creates the beautiful relationships we recognize almost instantly every time we encounter one of them.

God has a plan regarding our love relationships. Foremost in His plan is to provide us with a feeling of peace, free from the fear we feel when trust is not present, as well as our fear that our weaknesses will cause our downfall. It is this love relationship that we seek until we find it. To believe it happened by accident fails to give God credit for a great plan.

Why we are often misunderstood.

There is no doubt that secrets have led to more misunderstanding and fear in our relationships than from any other source.

Our failures to share these secrets with those who want to love us can only be seen as a selfish failure to love on our part. How can we expect them to love us if we didn’t show them the way to our hearts and souls?

By not giving them a clue how can we blame them for their negative reactions to our cry for help and forgiveness when we misstep. Oh woe is me until we have finally seen the error of our ways. From deep within we can hear the moans coming from many a memory of the sorrow we have caused by a secret which should never have been kept.

Sharing secrets gives you the understanding and compassion needed to help form the bond of trust needed to create a lasting love relationship. Your best friend will end up being your true love. Protect those secrets. Make some rules together, and enforce them gently in the language of love.

Apologize when you break a rule, and never do it again, so your love can continue to grow. Remember the Golden Rule. You will need it for guidance many times on the path to your true love. Loving one another is not easy. Love has rules. So too, must you.

With love, comes peace of mind.

Whenever possible, love should never be gray. You either do or you don't. Either you can or you can't. You either will or you won't.

A simple thing, black and white, for it is in the gray areas of our lives that we must live with our doubts and our fears. The simple strength we garner from things that appear black and white sustains us in times of chaos.

Like a sheltered anchorage in a stormy sea, we rely on love to calm our fears and steady our course as we sail from one adventure to the next.
To dwell for long in a world full of gray can fill your life with doubts.

Love should never be gray. Either you can or you can't. You either will or you won't. You either do or you don't.

Make the decision and find some peace of mind.
 
J.Siler

When your passion turns to anger, what should you do about it?

 
     For all of us, the mention of certain subjects, objects, or people can cause the visceral rise of anger up into our throats. If we fail to get these feelings under control, we often suffer from the consequences of our own words and actions.
 
If this happens to you more often than you would like, you need to do a few things in advance to give you better control in these stress filled situations. This advance preparation can have a wonderful effect on your ability to prevent your anger from damaging the causes that stir your passions.
 
Each temple pulsing, fist clenching moment comes to us via a trigger. This trigger is the key to what our response is now-anger, and what we wish it was-persuasive. Yes, I said persuasive. Everyone with a cause wishes everyone around them would join their cause. When it happens, we become happier. It is hard to argue with this kind of logic.
 
Here is where advanced planning can really pay off. Done right you will be thought of as a person of great personal passions instead of a raving fanatic. Think back to the last blazing hot confrontation you had. Which one of you walked away looking like a nutcase with a bad attitude?
 
Ready to become a someone who lives life with truly great personal passions? That may sound a little over the top, but, it is our passions that bind us together. Never underestimate the role that passions have played in most revolutionary change. And, by all means never forget the powerful emotions that drive that change. Here comes the caveat. If you want change without physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual bloodshed, anger is the wrong emotion to use.
 
Getting back on track we must take a closer look at one of those moments when anger took control and look a little deeper to see if we can find the underlying passion. Politic, global climate change, social justice issues, personal religious beliefs, racial tensions, cultural norms, and so on are some of the noble causes that draw out strong opinions on both sides of every argument. It is not unusual for us to develop a serious dislike for those who are the most vocal opponents to our own point of view. Can you feel the anger rising in your throat as they come to mind?
 
This little recall exercise should have brought to mind at least one of your passions, as well as your feelings toward those who oppose your efforts to promote change. Good. This is where advanced planning can put you on top in a heated discussion, or at least let you walk away with your head up rather than with tail between legs.
 
Your righteous anger will need to be replaced with some form of persuasion for you to gain the upper hand or hold your own in a debate. To do this you must develop some irrefutable reasons to support your cause. I say irrefutable because fiction and fairy tales win very few arguments. Remind them that it is foolish to throw caution to the wind, especially when we are dealing with a few unknowns. 
 
You should be armed with at least three good reasons why they should respect your passion. It won't take long after you do this to discover the truth that the best defense must include a good offense. Simply put, don’t bother having an opinion if you are not prepared to defend it.
 
One of my own pet peeves is when people spout rhetoric one liners from famous people with no real knowledge of what the underlining passion is. It is one thing to share a passion, it’s quite another to blindly hop on a bandwagon. If you hope to persuade anyone that you are passionate about something, a little knowledge goes a long way.The goal is to empower you to take control of your passions and be happier as a result.
 
Passions are funny things. They can be big, and powerful, and overwhelming. And, they can also be tiny little jewels in your crown as king or queen of your personal kingdom. If you have a passion for something, I guarantee you there are others out there ready and willing to share it with you. One example would be recycling. There are happy recyclers and there are angry recyclers.
 
You can set out to save the world by demanding that everyone recycle under penalty of your personal scorn, or you can set the example by following your passion and then strike up spirited conversations about your exciting efforts to save the planet for future generations. Need I point out which method is most effective. The lesson learned here goes hand in hand with efforts at persuasion. Every passion has a positive face. Find yours and put it on.
 
To be a truly passionate person you must live and breathe your passions every day. From now on let whatever triggers your anger trigger a positive response instead. A little knowledge and preparation will make you a more passionate person. Don't let your anger destroy who you want to be. May your passion for life shine through your conversations so they can see you for who you are.
 
One last note: Mutual respect for each other’s right to have a different opinion will leave each discussion open for further consideration in the future.
 
J. Siler
 
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High Spirits

 Post from The Morning Whisper

Here we are in transition. As our understanding of the immortal nature of the soul given to us God improves, so does our awareness of a great power that emanates from within. Like the pounding pulse of the Risen Christ, we feel the presence of The Holy Spirit.

With each incremental step in the strength of our faith, we feel the power of this Spirit rise up to give us the courage to defend our faith to others. There is no other way, for we are weak and afraid, just as the Apostles were in the days right after the people of Jerusalem crucified Christ. This new found courage comes directly to us as a gift from the Holy Spirit. He is the third person of our Triune God.

Jesus knew that His Church would need The Spirit to grow. Through the scriptures written about the days following Christ's Resurrection we will hear many stories of the coming of the Spirit and the effects it had on the disciples of Christ.

What we learn from these readings gives us a better understanding of the presence of the Holy Spirit within our own selves. Yes, we need the Spirit to grow too. We need the Spirit to follow Christ's teachings. We need the Spirit to give us the courage to stand up for what we believe. Just as it was for the first apostles, we too are a part of the growing Church. It is the Spirit of God that raises our own spirits higher and higher until we reach the entrance to the Kingdom of God.

Prayer:
Most Holy Spirit, Beloved of my soul, I adore You.
Enlighten me, guide me, comfort me, console me.
I promise to submit myself to all You desire of me,
and permit all You wish to happen to me.
Give me Your orders, tell me what to do.
Most Holy Spirit, bring Peace to the world.
Amen.

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Collage

It was nice to flex my creative side and use images I purchased at CanStockPhoto to create website covers for my Love Relationship Repair Manuals at TrueLoveQuestMedia.com. The message in every photo came through loud and clear. I used Adobe CS5 Photoshop and InDesign to pull each cover together.

Finding the Secrets to True Love

Wring down the many secrets to creating a true love relationship is not as easy as you might think. Even after writing the book, I still struggle to use just the right words to get people to open the door to their heart and let my words inside. To get people to do that I found I had to find a way to establish a bond of trust between myself and them.

Unless you are content with just skimming the surface, at some point you have to make the plunge. I use this blog to keep my mind focused on the knowledge that I want my writings to reach as many people as possible.

Having already completed the book, I have not been posting to this blog as often as I should. As I regain my writing spirit and restore the discipline necessary to be a successful writer, I will be posting here more often. Love is important to me.

If you just need a pointer or two, or like to ponder the depths of True Love, come visit me here at what I call my Secret Blog. I promise it will be worth your while.

You can find my secrets blog at http://www.TrueLoveWanted.com

Our Quest To Love and Be Loved

The beginning of my writing career started at the moment when I discovered the secrets to finding True Love. With that incredible moment to draw on, I launched myself into the unknown and started writing, confident I could share all I knew about love. My very first project was to write the definitive book containing all the secrets to true love. I completed it five years later and titled it Our Quest To Love and Be Loved.

It did take me all of five years to complete, and with it at least six revisions of the original draft. In the process that led to the final draft, I became a seasoned writer. Looking back, I realize now that I had probably picked the most intense and difficult subject I could have for my first project. It forced me to mature, not only in my writing style, but also in my ability to relate to people of all ages. It completely changed my view of the opposite sex, not to mention the very old and the very young too, as I had to draw on past experiences to fill in the 300+ pgs of what turned out to be a very serious endeavor.

Along the way I discovered that most people prefer to learn about love in small chunks, a few paragraphs or a phrase or two at a time. It is easier to digest that way, and leads to less guilt and self incrimination. I finished and published the book anyway, even while I knew that it would be difficult to read more than a few pages at a time. A bookmark turned out to be essential so I started to include one with every book purchased from my website.

If you are interested in the most complete and comprehensive study of love ever put down in writing, please visit my book website.

You will find my first book, Our Quest To Love and Be Loved at http://www.TrueLoveQuest.net 

God Speaks To Us In Whispers

I am a religious person. That doesn't mean I am a fanatic who has tunnel vision, or someone who looks down on those who don't share their faith. Nor, am I a hypocrite who spouts the teachings of my religion while behaving in ungodly ways. What it means is that if you like me for who I am, you must accept the fact that my religion played a very important role in the formation of the person I aspire to be.

To deny the opportunity for such an important part of me to speak out in the written word would be like hiding my light under a bushel basket. Part of my faith is the belief that all my talents and gifts come to me from God. Using those writing talents in the service of that God is also part of my faith. Besides believing in Heaven and Hell, sinners and redemption, as well as that my God is a loving God, I give Him credit for all my success, and my personal happiness. That includes my writing.

If you are curious as to how successful I am as a religious writer join me by visiting me at my blog that I call The Morning Whisper. I try to spend a few minutes in the morning almost every day talking and listening to my God. It's about time I started writing down some of the things He whispers in my ear.

Please join me at http://www.TheMorningWhisper.com

TrueLoveQuest Media

Of course, writers every now and then must sell a few copies of what they have written to support themselves and reap the rewards for their efforts. This is one of those websites where a sample of my work can be had for a mere 99¢. After writing a comprehensive book on the intricacies of true love and love relationships, the breaking up of the book into topic specific mini-books was a natural progression.

I call them Love Relationship Repair Manuals and they give the reader the opportunity to purchase one or two chapters of my book about love that they are most in need of at the moment. The ultimate goal is to have them purchase the entire book, but you can't argue with the marketing angle of getting your foot in the door first.

You will find each of these mini-books to be a true rendition of a chapter from Our Quest To Love and Be Loved. Even reading one chapter will change how you see love as a force to be reckoned with in your life. For 99¢ you can end up well on your way to a True Love relationship. Give a chapter a try.

They are available for download as a Kindle, eBook, and print ready PDF formats at my TrueLoveQuest Media website.  http://www.TrueLoveQuestMedia.com 

Wait! It only takes a minute!!

The One Minute Blog

In what I call my one minute blog, I sharpen my skills in getting it all said in under a minute. This is important. I have found that with the written word it is easy to ramble on and eventually bore your readers. With this blog the philosopher in me showed up fairly quickly.

The philosophy of the moment can vary from skeptic to optimist, happy to sad, realist to idealist. In this forum I can test my daily mood and discover what will work best for my next book (This Old Man says "I Told You So!") which will focus on teaching the young and foolish to be young and wise. It is a book of wisdom.

The address for this blog is http://www.TheMinuteBlog.com